green with envy

The Act
by: William Carlos Williams

Although this man has a very unfortunate name... I find myself SO jealous of him.
This poem really speaks to me and I wish SO HARD that I had written it instead of him. I love how simple and yet deep it is. It says so much in so few lines.

"Ahh, we were all beautiful once"

When I read this, I instantly thought of Beauty and the Beast. The old hag that comes to his door with a rose and he turns her away. So she says that he'll remain a beast until he can find someone to love him. As I recall, the beast was a very attractive man in the beginning. A real lady's man. Then, his looks were gone and all he was left with was his "winner" personality. No one wanted to be around him after that. Not only was he ugly, he was a real jerk. Not even a hood rat would stoop so low as to marry that. So the beast was left alone.

"They won't last"

Once you're old and you no longer have that bikini body, you're really left with nothing if you aren't a good person. In other words, if you aren't pretty on the inside, getting old is really going to suck.

William Carlos Williams is a poetic genius. He gets it. I want to be a poet like him.

bother. bother. bother.

I'm tired of pretending. Pretending to be someone I'm not. Tired of everyone expecting me to be someone I'm not.  I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of high school drama. Tired of HER. I'm tired of gangsters and hoes. I'm tired of small talk. Just state your business and get on with life. I'm tired of the top 100 songs on itunes. "dutty dutty..." not again! I'm tired of Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan. I wanna hear about people I know. Not those clowns. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of idiots. I'm tired of not being able to stand up for myself. I'm tired of politics. I'm tired of people who mumble. I'm tired of snap judgements. I'm tired of being a loser. I'm tired of texting. I'm tired of trying to impress everyone, especially those I don't even like. I'm tired of getting ready. I'm tired of being known as my brother's sister. I was born first. I'm tired of gas prices continuing to go up. I'm tired of people not using their turning signal when they drive. It was put there for a reason. Use it. I'm tired of winter. It's depressing.I'm tired of boys putting their hands in their pants in public. Seriously? I'm tired of complaining. Tired of everyone around me complaining.

I AM CUSSING TIRED. 

what is love? baby don't hurt me. don't hurt me. no more.

love is knowing. noticing. being there. love is sacrificing time with your friends for time with your family. love is letting him win. love is a husband taking care of his wife even when she's so stricken with dementia that she doesn't even remember his name anymore. love is admitting you're wrong. love is sticking up for your friend even if it means everyone else will hate you. love is a high five on a bad day. love is letting him have the T.V. when your favorite show is on. love is going over to a sick friends house and spending the day watching movies and talking when you could've been at that party. love is my mom doing my laundry for me. my dad fixing my car repeatedly without complaining. love is constantly giving. never finished. love is sharing your candy. calling for no apparent reason. love is telling her she's got a booger in her nose. love is family night volleyball. a bear hug. love is remembering his birthday. love is holding her when she's crying. love is listening. love is sitting at your sons wrestling tournament all day.





"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."

-Jessica (She's 8. I know, right?)

curiousity....killed the cat? meow.

WHY? Why can't I tell him I think he's cute?  Why can't I go to bed at 2 in the morning, wake up and 6 and feel awesome? Why can't we be friends? Why I touch my nose with my tongue? Why can't I fly? Why can't I be a dog whisperer? Why can't everyone be as blessed as me? Why can't I be wonder woman? Why can't it always be spring? Why can't I just say sorry? Why can't Elvis come back? Why can't life be fair? Why can't I score a date with Zac Efron? Why can't I own a pet tiger? Why can't people always be honest? Why can't I breathe underwater? Why can't I live in the moon? Why can't grass always be green? Why can't I always be tan? Why can't chocolate be healthy? Why can't my snowmen come to life? Frosty? Why can't I be her? Why can't everyday be Christmas? Why can't boys just know? You know? Why can't I have three wishes?Why can't we all just  get along? Why can't we stop gossiping? Why can't everything be easy? Why can't we just dance? Why can't cartoons be real? Why can't I be rescued by a handsome prince? Why can't they understand?

Why?

it's only me and i walk alone.

I walk alone. I walk alone. I'm stranded. I have no cell phone service and even if I did, I have no one to call. I walk alone. I walk alone. There's not a soul in sight. Not even a soul-less person. I walk alone. I walk alone. A tumble weed scratches the asphalt as it makes its journey across the lifeless street. I walk alone. I walk alone. All of the shops are empty. Windows cracked. A sad song by an artist I can not name mumbles out of an abandoned radio. I walk alone. I walk alone. The wind is a bitter symphony, a constant reminder of those who never had faith in me. Those who wanted to hold me back. Congratulations. You won. I walk alone. I walk alone. The clouds become swollen and black. Rain pours. Lightning crashes, illuminating the skeletons of old, worn down cars no one loves anymore. I walk alone. I walk alone. My heart grows heavy with the burden of regret. All those times I should have told them I loved them and never did. I walk alone. I walk alone. My mind is filled with the memories of all those I judged too quickly. We could have been friends. Best friends. I walk alone. I walk alone. My clothes are worn out. Beyond repair. I wish I could go back and make things right.

I walk alone. 

I walk alone.

dude, did you hear? I'm thinking about you.

So I'm sitting at work and I just cannot stop thinking about you.
I'm thinking about you like a heart thinks about veins. Like a surgeon thinks about brains. Like a gangster thinks about chains. I'm thinking about you like a player thinks about who's in the stands. Like girls think about boy bands. Like a hand thinks about holding another hand. I'm thinking about you like Ms. Dalton thinks about pottery. Like a gambler thinks about winning the lottery. Seriously. I'm thinking about you like i'm thinking about you. I'm thinking about you like a bride thinks about saying, "I do". Like hair thinks about shampoo. I'm thinking about you like Ke$ha thinks about waking up feeling like P. Diddy. Like boys think about girls that are pretty. I'm thinking about you like a bandit thinks about a catchy nickname. Like a picture thinks about a frame. Like Lady Gaga thinks about the LoveGame. For real. You're the best. Which is why I'm thinking about you like a hippy thinks about a good protest. Like a knight thinks about his quest. Oh shoot, I'm thinking about you like my boss thinks about letting me go. Or was that Sean Kingston? Either way, I'm always thinking about y-o-u.

direct orders

You are under direct orders to rock out.

Rock out like you just found that CD you've been searching for.
Rock out like you just got a 4.0.
Rock out like have the best dance moves in the world.
Rock out like you're a zebra that just escaped from the zoo.
Rock out like that cop didn't give you a ticket.
Rock out like no one's watching.
Rock out like you're on wheel of fortune.
Rock out like it's your birthday.
Rock out like you're dying, because you are.
Rock out like you've never rocked out before.
Rock out like you just got a new pair of shoes.
Rock out like you were the first person a child ever smiled at.
Rock out like it's the last time you'll hear music.
Rock out like it's a beautiful day and you've got your sunroof open, your sunglasses on, and your best friend by your side.
Rock out like you just found out you are indeed, the fairest of them all.
Rock out like you just got acquitted.
Rock out like you just married your best friend.
Rock out like you're a child starving during the Great Depression and your father was able to trade shoes for food.
Rock out like it's all you have.
Rock out like those things she said didn't bother you.
Rock out like you are an orphaned child that just found a loving home.
Rock out like everyone in the world treated others like they'd like to be treated.
Rock out like everything is going exactly perfect, because it never will.
Rock out like the world is yours.
Rock out like you're not too cool, because you aren't.
Rock out like everyone was honest all the time.
Rock out like someone just wrote a love song about you.
Rock out like you don't live in a world full of social norms.

Rock the cuss out.